Things that are illegal in Singapore

Graffiti, swearing, loitering, littering, loitering with intent to litter, knowingly abetting a litterer or litterers to litter, gambling or “gaming”, partial or total nudism, prostitution, public displays of affection, private displays of affection, (apparently, if you’re getting “bi-zazzy” with your “ho” and you haven’t drawn the curtains I can have you arrested, even if I’m using this very powerful telescope to watch you. Best to use the bomb shelter,) international terrorism or being part of a terrorist organization, book-group, or such and such; dancing, giggling while the president is talking, ironic t-shirts, criticising the government. Things that are legal: spitting, talking loudly, staring at foreigners, blowing snot, making your maid sleep in the bomb shelter.